General Tso's Meatballs (Low Carb & Gluten Free)

General Tso's Meatballs (Low Carb & Gluten Free) 

from ibreatheimhhungry.com

Every time I post on this blog, I look at my dishes and think, man, those are some cheesy looking dishes.  Funny how, 20 years ago, they looked kinda cute when my mom and I bought a million of them from the grocery store (or whatever half price shop was selling them).

I think I've grown up enough to warrant buying real dishes.

Yep, I think I'll do that.

Am I hip enough to get those fancy white triangular dishes you get served food on at some restaurants nowadays???

I dunno … anything other than this fruity plate would be a vast improvement …

INGREDIENTS

For the Meatballs

• 1 lb ground turkey or chicken (I used ground turkey)
• 2 Tbl minced ginger (I used 2 tsp of ground ginger, because minced ginger means dealing with real ginger, an ugly food item -- and I am inexperienced with real ginger)
• 1/4 cup scallions, chopped
• 1 tsp garlic powder
• 1/4 cup almond flour
• 1 egg
• light flavored oil for frying (olive, grapeseed, etc.)(I used coconut oil)

For the Sauce

• 1/2 tsp sesame oil (I used peanut oil, because somebody in this family has a severe allergy to stuff like sesame oil …. I was this close to forgetting that fact, and actually buying and cooking with the stuff!)
• 3 Tbl rice wine vinegar
• 3 Tbl soy sauce (tamari based for GF, or coconut amines for Paleo)
• 1/4 cup water
• 3 Tbl sugar substitute (honey for Paleo)
• 1/2 tsp xanthan gum (or arrowroot powder)

1/4 cup scallions, chopped

• 4-5 small dried chilies, seeded and chopped [this is where I failed miserably… I bought FRESH chilies, not dried.  When I got home, I realized this.  Fresh chilies are not to be messed with.  One should wear latex gloves or something when you cut them, and apparently you should run them under cold water or something while you cut them, or your eyes will burn and you will die…  So, learning this… I decided to use 1/2 tsp of red pepper flakes instead.  The sauce was GREAT)

INSTRUCTIONS

To make the meatballs:

• Combine all of the meatball ingredients and mix thoroughly.  Form into 16 balls and sauté/fry in oil over medium heat until cooked through and crispy.  Alternatively, you could bake them, but they won't get the crunchy exterior.

To make the sauce:

• Combine the sesame oil, vinegar, GF soy sauce, water, sugar substitute, and xanthan gum in a small saucepan and whisk until combined.  Add the scallions and chili pepper and bring to a boil.  Simmer for five minutes until thickened and remove from heat.

To serve:

• Add the cooked meatballs to the thickened sauce and stir to coat.  Garnish with more chopped scallions and chilis if desired…

Approximate nutrition info per serving:  322 calories, 25 g fat, 3.75 net carbs, 23 g protein

To lower the fat and calories, use extra lean ground turkey, and bake rather than fry them.

***************************************************************************

The men in the family were really looking forward to this … and they were not disappointed!!!  The way that I made it, the meatballs were asian spicy, but not TOO spicy.  Dad would prefer more spice, but Will and I would not.

This would be a really good recipe to make to bring to a party.  We all know how much you party...

VEGETARIANS KNOW WHAT'S UP

Okay so I was skeptical about this salad because it seems super hippy dippy vegetarian blah. But no. It is so so so so so so delicious. It is so beautiful and tasty. I could write poetry about it.

LEMONY ZUCCHINI CHICKPEA AND GARBANZO BEAN SALAD

Directions:
In a large pan, cook onion and zucchini on medium heat until tender. Cook frozen lima beans according to package. Combine olive oil, lemon juice, red pepper flakes, and salt in a small bowl. In a larger bowl, combine lima beans, chickpeas, cooked onions and zucchini, basil, and parmesan cheese. Drizzle olive oil mixture and toss to combine.

       Ingredients:

• 1/2 cup fresh or frozen lima beans, blanched

• 1/2 cup drained canned chickpeas, rinsed

• 1 zucchini, quartered lengthwise and cut crosswise into 1/4-inch-thick slices

• 1/2 small red onion, halved and thinly sliced

• 1 tablespoon chopped fresh basil, plus small sprigs for garnish

• 1 ounce Parmesan cheese, broken into small chunks (1/4 cup)

• 4 1/2 teaspoons fresh lemon juice

• 3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil

• 1/8 teaspoon red-pepper flakes

• 3/4 teaspoon coarse salt

• Freshly ground pepper, to taste

Directions:

In a large pan, cook onion and zucchini on medium heat until tender. Cook frozen lima beans according to package. Combine olive oil, lemon juice, red pepper flakes, and salt in a small bowl. In a larger bowl, combine lima beans, chickpeas, cooked onions and zucchini, basil, and parmesan cheese. Drizzle olive oil mixture and toss to combine. 

Omg I am dying of happiness and currently eating it. It is so good. I could cry.

NEXT!

CHEEZY ZUCCHINI RICE

This one also. Omg. So good. I can't believe how good it is. This one uses chicken broth, so it's not technically vegetarian. But if we ever wanted to make it for Holly, we could use vegetable broth, I am sure.

Ingredients:

1 tablespoon olive oil

1 cup long-grain white rice
2 cups chicken broth
2 tablespoons butter
1 medium or 2 small zucchini, grated (I used my food processor but a cheese grater would work well, too)
1 cup shredded sharp cheddar
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
salt and pepper, to taste
splash of milk, as needed

Directions:

Heat the olive oil in a medium sauce pan over medium heat.

Add the rice and stir to coat. Toast the rice, stirring often, just until it starts to turn golden.
Pour in the chicken broth, bring to a boil, turn heat to low, and cover.
Cook, covered, for 15 - 20 minutes or until most of the liquid is absorbed.
Remove from the heat and add the butter, grated zucchini, cheddar, and garlic powder. Stir until well incorporated. Cover and let sit for 5 minutes.
Stir again and add salt and pepper to taste and a splash of milk if you'd like to thin out the texture a little bit.

• 
  
  
  
  NEXT!
  
  
  BROILED ALMOND BUTTER APPLE SANDWICH
  
  
  
  
  
  This one's easy.
  Ingredients:
  2 slices bread
  Half an apple
  Almond Butter
  
  
  Directions:
  Preheat oven broiler to 400F. Make sure rack is on the highest rung and put two slices of bread on the top rack - leave the oven door open. Watch it!!!! (This direction is for YOU, mama). Remove from oven when it is brown to your liking. On the OTHER sides of the bread (the untoasted sides), lightly coat with almond butter. Then place apple slices on one side of the bread. Put back into the broiler and heat until apples are tender. EAT!
  
  
  
  
  I have been cooking a lot, so that is all I will blog today. 
  
  
  Here's a picture of my Mystic River boating experience!
  
  
  
  
  

Grilled Sandwich Thing and Accidental Naan

Blawg yayyyyyy!

Okay so I made really good sandwiches from stuff I just had lying around.

GRILLED SANDWICH THING

Ingredients:

·      Bread

·      6 slices zucchini

·      Olive oil

·      Half a tomato

·      Caesar salad dressing

·      Almond butter

·      Parmesan cheese

·      Spinach

Directions:

1.     Sautee zucchini in olive oil until squishy

2.     Spread almond butter on one piece of bread and Caesar salad dressing on the other side

3.     Add a layer of spinach and then tomato on top of the spinach

4.     Add cooked zucchini and sprinkle parmesan cheese on top

5.     Put sandwich pieces together and then butter the outsides of the sandwich

6.     Grill sandwich on both sides until bread is light brown

And it looks like this!

ACCIDENTAL NAAN

Ingredients:

·      1.5 Tablespoons olive oil

·      1 medium onion chopped

·      1/8 cup plis ½ tsp sugar

·      salt

·      1 0.25 ounce package of active dry yeast

·      1 egg

·      3 Tablespoons butter, melted

·      3 cups flour

Directions:

1.     Heat 2 Tablespoons of oil in a skillet over medium-high heat. Add the onions, ½ tsp sugar, and ¼ tsp salt. Cook, stirring occasionally, until golden brown (about 15 minutes).

2.     Place 1 cup of warm water in a large bown and sprinkle with yeast but SOMEHOW MAKE SURE THE YEAST DOESN’T ACTIVATE. Let stand 5 minutes. Whisk in egg, 2 tablespoons butter, the remaining 1/8 cup of sugar, and ½ tsp salt. Add the flour and onions and mix until a sticky dough forms. Brush the top of the dough with olive oil. Cover the bowl with plastic wrap and let rise for an hour.

3.     Roll dough into balls and fry in a LIGHTLY oiled saucepan for about 1 minute each side.

Also, Boston:

Eggplant and Lentil Stacks

Protein!!!

Ingredients:

• 1 Eggplant
• 1 can lentils
• 1/2 cup tomatoes, chopped
• 2 Tbsp olive oil
• 1 Tbsp apple cider vinegar
• 1/3 cup shredded basil

What to Do:

1. Cut eggplant crosswise into 6 1.5 cm-thick slices. Heat in a large frying pan over medium-high heat until tender and golden.

2. Place lentils and tomato in a bowl. Drizzle over with vinegar and half the oil. Season with salt and pepper.

3. Place 1 eggplant slice on a serving plate. Divide the lentil mixture up and pile onto eggplant slices. Drizzle remaining olive oil and serve.

Tabouleh

I'm a Middle-Eastern cooking genius!

This was so labor intensive and I hated making it, but I love eating it. Persuasive, eh? I messed up the quinoa like 3 times, so that's why it took so long. Also, my camera screen broke, so I now have to guess where the wanted object is and hope that it turns out good on the computer.

But seriously. So delicious. And no tahini! You don't have to experience anaphylaxis! What a delight.

Ingredients:

• 1/4 cup lemon juice
• 1/4 cup olive oil
• 1/4 tsp. black pepper
• 1 tsp. salt
• 1/4 cup quinoa (I used quinoa instead of bulgur wheat because Utah's never heard of ethnicity.)
• 1.5 cups minced parsley
• 1 cup minced mint leaves
• 1/4 tsp. ground cinnamon
• 1/2 red onion, finely diced
• 1 cucumber diced
• 2 ripe tomatoes

What to Do:

1. Whisk the lemon juice, olive oil, black pepper, and salt together in a small bowl.

2. Cook quinoa and then let it soak in the lemon juice/olive oil mixture for 30 minutes.

3. Mince the parsley, mint leaves, and chopped onion in food processor to get very small pieces.

4. Mix all other ingredients in with the soaked quinoa mixture and allow to soak in the refrigerator overnight before serving.

But really. So good. I say this about everything. But. Forreal this time. 

Falafel and Loaded Guacamole

I made guac for lunch and falafel for dinner. Maddy says she wants to guest post on our food blog just so she can tell people she is a food blogger.

Loaded Guacamole

Mind you, I only made this for me. You would need to double or triple for you and Ronaldo and Will.

Ingredients:

• 1 Avocado
• 1/2 Tbsp. lemon juice
• 2 Tbsp. sliced tomatoes
• 2 Tbsp. finely diced cucumber
• 1/4 finely chopped red onion
• 2 Tbsp. olives
• 2 Tbsp. green onion
• 1/2 tsp garlic salt
• 1/2 tsp chopped oregano

Directions:

1. Mash avocado. 

2. Stir in lemon juice. 

3. Fold in remaining ingredients.

Falafel!

Ingredients:

• 2 Tbsp. vegetable oil
• 1 small onion, finely chopped
• 1 garlic clove, crushed
• 1 can chickpeas, washed and drained
• 1 tsp. ground cumin
• 1 tsp. chili powder
• 1 Tbsp. chopped cucumber
• 1 egg, beaten

Directions:

1. Heat 1 tbsp oil in a large pan. Fry the onion and garlic over a low heat for 5 minutes until softened. 

2. Mash up chickpeas with a fork or in a food processer.

3. Stir in spices, onions, garlic, cucumber, and egg. 

4. Mix into 6 balls, then flatten into patties. 

5. Heat remaining oil in the pan and fry falafels on medium heat for 3 minutes on each side. 

I put this on a hamburger bun, but I feel like it would have been better in pita. 

Today Merete and I "exercised", meaning we did 15 minutes of Insanity, then had a pushup contest. I think I am going to get real buff. 

Chicken Shwarma

I made this to reach back to my middle eastern roots.

Ingredients:

• 1 cup cucumber (cut)
• 1/4 cup low-fat plain yogurt
• 3 tablespoons tahini
• 2 tablespoons lemon juice
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 tablespoon garlic powder
• 1 teaspoon curry powder
• 1/2 teaspoon pepper
• 1 pound chicken breast
• 4 6-inch whole wheat pita breads
• 1 medium tomato (cut)
• 2 cups lettuce

(Serves 4)

What to do:

1. Stir cucumber, yogurt, tahini, lemon juice, and 1/4 teaspoon salt in a medium bowl.

2. Combine garlic powder, curry powder, pepper, and the remaining 1/4 teaspoon of salt in another bowl. Slice chicken breast crosswise into 1/4 inch strips; toss with the spice mixture to coat. Add 1 tablespoon oil and toss to combine.

3. Grill the chicken until cooked through.

4. Spread 1/4 cup of cucumber-yogurt mixture on pita and top with the chicken, tomato, and lettuce

YUM this is so good and is very easy to make.

Today I frolicked in the snow taking water samples at Deer Creek. It was the best. 

Old School Mac n' Cheese

Today was my day to cook a meal for 10-15 people for the local hospice.  I don't know why, but I never seem to want to cook something I've already cooked before.  It kinda seems like I'm, I don't know, cheating.  This is weird, because it's not like I'm a great cook, and it's not like I can honestly show off -- because I just drop this meal off and nobody knows who cooked it.  I guess I don't want to cook the same thing because it would bore me.

So I looked this up on allrecipes.com, under casseroles.  This mac n' cheese recipe was very popular, AND NOW I KNOW WHY!  Because IT'S FREAKIN' AWESOME, that's why!

It may not look like much in the above photo, but believe me, it is the most heavenly, cheesiest, tastiest mac n' cheese you have EVER TASTED.  I made the mistake of taking a little bite before I delivered it.  And then I took another, and another, and another....

Make this mac n' cheese in the called-for recipe amount if you need to take a dish to somebody who is sick, or just had a baby, etc.  -- because you'll have enough for them AND for you.  If you want to try the recipe just for YOU, then halve the ingredients.  If you want to, you can go to allrecipes.com, find the recipe on there, and they have a way to input how many servings you want, and then the web site adjusts the recipe to reflect your servings.

Oh my gosh.  This is CRAZY good.  Or as your father might say, this is some crazy shiz mac n' cheese.

INGREDIENTS:

1-3/4 pounds whole-wheat macaroni (but I used regular elbow macaroni)

3/4 cup butter

3/4 cup all-purpose flour

6 cups milk, divided

1 teaspoon mustard powder

1 teaspoon onion powder

1 teaspoon cayenne pepper

salt and ground black pepper to taste

1 (8 oz) packaged shredded Cheddar cheese, divided

3 (8 oz) packaged shredded American cheese (I couldn't find any of this, so I used bags of 

      shredded cheese specially made for mac n' cheese)

1 tablespoon Worcestshire sauce

1 (8 oz) bag potato chips (such as Lay's), crushed

1 cup shredded Cheddar cheese

1/3 cup grated Parmesan cheese

butter-flavored cooking spray

DIRECTIONS:

1.  Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C).

2.  Bring a large pot of lightly salted water to a boil.  Cook elbow macaroni in the boiling water, stirring occasionally until cooked through but firm to the bite, 8 minutes; drain.

3.  Mel butter in a large pot over medium-low heat.  Slowly add flour to butter, whisking constantly; cook until barely brown and the mixture no longer smells of flour, about 5 minutes.  Pour 1 cup milk into the flour mixture, whisking continually until fully incorporated, about 45 seconds; repeat twice.  Add remaining 3 cups milk to the mixture, whisking to incorporate.  Stir mustard powder, onion powder, and cayenne pepper into the mixture; season with salt and black pepper.

4.  Reduce heat to low.  Cook sauce, whisking frequently, until it begins to thicken, about 10 minutes.  Add about half the package of shredded Cheddar cheese; stir continually until the cheese melts completely.  Repeat with remaining half package of Cheddar cheese and the American cheese, about 4 ounces at a time.  Once cheese is entirely incorporated, remove sauce from heat.

5.  Stir drained macaroni into the cheese sauce to coat.  Divide macaroni between TWO 9x13-inch baking dishes.

6.  Mix crushed potato chips, 1 cup shredded Cheddar cheese, and Parmesan cheese in a bowl.  Top the macaroni with the potato chip mixture evenly.  Spray the potato chip mixture with cooking spray.

7.  Bake in preheated oven until the crust is golden brown and the sauce is bubbling, 35 to 45 minutes.  

Prep time:  30 minutes

Cook time: 45 minutes

Ready in: 1 hour 15 minutes

Servings:  20

English Muffin-Egg Breakfast

The recipe I got called these pizzas, but there are very few pizza-related ingredients on this. But it's good. You should make it. So easy.

Ingredients:

• English Muffins
• Tomatoes
• Hard boiled eggs (half an egg on each slice of muffin)
• Mozzarella cheese
• Olive oil
• Oregano
• Salt

What to do:

1. Make hard boiled eggs

2. Toast muffin halves and place on a cookie sheet

3. Drizzle with olive oil and then place sliced tomatoes on top

4. Place sliced boiled eggs, mozzarella, oregano, and salt on top

5. Broil 5 minutes or until cheese melts

I didn't use salt the second time I made these and they were still delicious. 

Today, I did a test review for the environmental class and felt really stupid pretty much the whole time, but everyone at the end said THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU and I felt much better. I am deathly ill! By deathly ill, I mean my nose is so runny that I can't get out of bed. Can I skip school because of this? 

So excited to get your package! I can't wait to pretentiously wear that Cornell sweatshirt all over town.

Chicken Salad Sandwiches (The best)

Currently watching Becoming Jane and having emotions. Sue me.

Ingredients:

• 2 Chicken breasts
• Some cherry tomatoes
• One pear
• Some walnuts
• Mayonnaise
• Dijon honey mustard
• Apple cider vinegar
• Some olive oil
• Lemon pepper

This is the least exact recipe you will ever experience.

Cook chicken in some olive oil and put a small amount of lemon pepper on the chicken as it cooks. Cut pear and tomatoes. Place pear slices, tomatoes, and chicken in a bowl and put 2-3 spoonfuls of mayo into the mixture. I eyeballed, but I'd say 1-2 tablespoons of both dijon honey mustard and apple cider vinegar each. I put the walnuts on last because I forgot about them, but I figure you could do that beforehand. This is sooooo good. Since I don't have a husband and child to rate it, I give it a ten. I will give all of my recipes tens. My culinary efforts are perfect. Worship me.

Today I taught a Sunday School lesson on the Fall, but really taught most about joy and making sure we are happy and stuff. In one of my powerpoint slides, I just had a large picture of Joy Behar. I thought it was sooooo funny, but no one else did. How upsetting. 

Look at you with your healthy calorie counting stats! I don't have the skills to make that happen.

Mah meal is gud 4 u becuz it has sum fruits and vegetablez. 

Couscous with Dried Cranberries and Pine Nuts

If you're not sure that the main dish is going to be that great ... [often the case in my house] then save the day with a good side dish.  The M-rating on this one was also an 8, for the boys, but I give it a ten.  I do love me some cranberries...

The first thing you do in this recipe is cook the pine nuts in oil.  Since I like to try to burn down the house at least once every cooking session, I left the pine nuts for a moment while trying to clean up cooking dishes, etc.  Not a good idea.  They say to put the oil on at medium-high heat, but if you're like me and you suck at paying attention to your food as it cooks, I would suggest medium or lower heat -- you'll thank me later.

Couscous with Dried Cranberries and Pine Nuts

2 teaspoons canola oil
1/4 cup pine nuts
2 cups reduced-sodium vegetable stock
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1 cup couscous, preferably whole wheat
1/3 cup dried cranberries
2 scallions, coarsely chopped

Heat the canola oil in a medium pot over medium-high heat.  Add the pine nuts, cooking until lightly browned, 2 to 3 minutes, stirring constantly.  Add the vegetable stock, salt, and pepper.  Bring to a boil and add the couscous and cranberries.  Remove from the heat, cover with a lid, and let sit for 10 minutes.  Fluff the couscous and stir in the scallions.  Taste and adjust the seasoning as needed.

per serving:  238 calories; 7 grams protein; 45 grams carbohydrate; 3 grams fiver; 9 grams fat (1 gram saturated); 657 mg sodium.

Dijon and Honey Pork Chops

Tonight's dinner entailed the use of the over-purchased pork chops at Costco over Christmas holidays.  You know how you can't purchase just three pork chops at Costco?  You have to purchase 263 pork chops?  Since I do not have 261 children (any more) I see no need to cook so many pork chops.  I cooked three tonight.  

Notice how the somewhat unappealing-looking carrots match the plate?  Isn't that special?

Apparently photographing food is an art I haven't yet developed... deal with it...

Dinner was good, though.  This is a very easy recipe that you can do in advance -- in fact, you can, according to the recipe, assemble the pork chop, vegetables, and sauce in their foil packet ahead of time, and then FREEZE them.  Later on, you could take them out the freezer and [I would assume] let them thaw a bit, and then cook them!  I would guess you would have them thaw slowly in the fridge...

DIJON AND HONEY PORK CHOPS

1 Pork chop
1/2 teaspoon seasoning salt (like Mrs. Dash's)
1-1/4 tablespoons honey
1-1/2 tablespoons Dijon mustard
1/2 tablespoon lemon juice
1/4 cup sliced mushrooms
1/2 cup sliced celery
1/2 cup sliced carrots

1.  Sprinkle seasoning salt on both sides of pork chop.
2.  In a small bowl, combine remaining ingredients; mix well.
3.  Place chop in middle of foil packet.
4.  Top chop with vegetable mixture and sauce.
5.  Double fold end of foil packet but leave enough room for heat to circulate.
6.  Bake at 425 degrees for 1 hour or until the center of the pork chop is no longer pink.
7.  Open foil packet last 5 minutes of cooking to brown pork chop.  [I forgot to do this, and it shows in the photo]

The Munson rating (done by Dad and Will, on a scale from 1 to 10) was an 8.

Bean Burgers and Baked Plum Tomatoes

What? I like cooking now? How did this happen?

Today I went to Macey's with Maddy and bought fixin's for nomnoms. I feel like food is beginning to take over my life and I like that. It's so much easier than engineering.


Bean Burgers

Ingredients:

• 1 15 oz. can kidney beans
• 1 15 oz. can black beans
• 1/4 cup corn
• 1/3 cup breadcrumbs
• 2 TBS olive oil
• 1/4 cup chopped onions
• 1 egg

What to do: 

Put olive oil in a pan heated to medium heat.

Drain and rinse kidney beans and black beans and mash them up in a bowl (My mashing was not the best. But I'm kinda lazy and it still tasted good). Then, add breadcrumbs, corn, egg, and onion. Divide the mixture into four parts and mold four patties with your hands. Then cook in the pan until brown on both sides. 

SO GOOD I LOVED IT SO MUCH. I can tell that this is going to be my latest food obsession because it is so easy and good.

Baked Plum Tomatoes

Ingredients:

• 4 plum tomatoes, halved lengthwise
• 1/4 cup parmesan cheese (finely grated)
• 2 Tbs breadcrumbs
• 1/2 tsp mixed dry herbs, like thyme, marjoram, oregano, and basil
• 1 Tbs olive oil
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 1/8 tsp pepper

What to do:

Preheat oven to 425 degrees fahrenheit (just in case you were in a celsius or even kelvin mood today). Sliver off the skin side of the tomatoes so that they will lie flat in a baking dish.

In a small bowl, toss together everything listed except for the tomatoes. Mound this mixture on top of each tomato half.

Bake until tomatoes are soft and topping is crisp and browned. The recipe I used told me to bake them for 20 minutes, but mine were brown in 6. So who knows what the real deal is.

Tonight I am going to a Norweigan dinner and then going to a BYU fashion show with Laurie (Gerhard's sister is in it - otherwise there is no way we would go haha). I am secretly very excited to make fun of all the Provo fashionistas. Or maybe I will become one, you know, since I have a blog now.

Pear and Gorgonzola Pizza

I know I already sent you this recipe, but I wanted to test this thing out. Right now, I am watching Sabrina at 2am in my living room while Maddy snores away on the couch. I know Audrey Hepburn is not my namesake, but she reminded me that I have never seen a Katharine Hepburn movie. This is terrible since you named me after her. Oh well. The font choices for this blog are so boring. I wanted this all to be in comic sans so that no one would take us seriously. I hope no one reads this (I hope we get famous because of this blog). 

I'm going to put more than food on here because I have insomnia. Mckenna did my makeup last week! Do you think I am pretty? Are you proud to call me your daughter (please say yes!)?

Anyway, in case you forget, the recipe for that pizza includes the following ingredients:

• Store-bought pizza dough (people who have time to make their own hate themselves)
• One pear
• ~6 slices of provolone cheese
• Walnuts
• Those green things in the picture. What are they called? Are those green onions? I don't think so. Man, I am bad at this.

Put stuff on the dough in this order: Cheese, pears, nuts. Maybe hold off on putting the nuts on until there is about 1 minute left in the stove. Cook for 8 minutes (or however long the package says to cook the dough - I cook everything for less time in Utah because the air is not conducive to cooking or happiness). THEN put the green stuff on when you take it out of the oven. Easy.

Audrey Hepburn's not that pretty. People are dumb.